1:48 p.m. - Saturday, May. 28, 2005
Blessing from Mak & Abah
I want to write about my Malacca Trip but my heart told me not to do so becoz of a few reason. 1st, becoz i did told Jaja about the whole things and i am in no mood at all to type the same things again. 2nd, a week had passed, i think Malacca topic is no more an interesting topic to talk about. But i can summarize it as MENGHAMPAKAN due to some inevitable circumstances.

Last Tuesday was my abah's 51st birthday. I did call him in the evening from my workplace. He asked me about the Malacca Trip, how was it? I just said 'entahlah'. I want to say that i was happy eventhough it was not true. But i do not know why, when it comes to bluffing to my beloved parents, definitely it wont work out. I do not want them to worry about me, but at the same time i dare not to be a liar. That evening, my conversation with abah was more 'SEDIH2' even i tried very hard to control my voice. Abah asked me not to go to TIME. He told me, he wont let me go to KL if the organization that i am going to work for is also in private sector, unless if it is government. So, i told abah to pray for my success in getting PTD post or to be exact, to pass the PAC that i had gone through a month ago. My mood was terrible probably becoz of my menses and to add further disappointment, my days were not going smoothly, my days at work were terrible, and at home, i need to face with more problems.

So, Wednesday night, i received an sms telling the PAC result is already published. I was so nervous, afraid to fail. So, next morning, logged in to the SPA website and ALHAMDULILLAH i passed the PAC. Now, i am waiting for the call for the final interview. I really hope to successfully getting the job. Arghh.. i was not serious when filling the SPA8 form, and i was not serious too during the written test. But after going through the PAC, i start to think seriously on this matter. I am not main-main anymore, u know.

One of the supporting factor to this seriousness is my current workplace. arghh.. kalau nak diceritakan, sampai esok lusa pun tak abis. To u guys reader, i do not expect u to understand me or what, coz u will never do. Entahlah, the situation is worse day by day but I am still the same person, with the same character and style. Only that the surroundings buat aku stress melampau dah ni!!! Last two days, i think my patient already reach the limit and it exploded. I do not talk nicely with everybody even to my boss. So i called my mum at home, i cried on the phone. So after work, i just drove back to Kota, probably meeting my mak and abah will help to release my stress. And it works even it happened that i did not even told my parents about my problems. Penat2 balik konon nak mangadu kat mak abah, last2 tak mengadu apa2, the stress hilang sendiri, and i admit, that was the blessings and doa from my parents that silently help to calm me down.

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