1:15 p.m. - Thursday, May. 05, 2005
Blurr...
Assalamualaikum..
Do not know what is happening to myself coz i had tried to type so many entries for this blog but all of them were helf way finished, then i decide to delete. Probably because of no sufficent time to write, hardly to get the actual mood of myself or maybe i was not confident to present my thoughts at the moment.

My mood is totally weird. Stuck in between and i think ‘blurr’ is the right to describe my emotion right now. After so many years, i cried a lot last night. When so many things rushing into my minds, and i haf nobody to share them, this is what happen. Should i say, that i must start serioulsy looking for a life partner? I do not think so. But i did think about that yesterday, but then i regret myself for thinking that way. Goshhh, come on readers, do you really understand what i am talking about? I dont think u do. I was so stupid to compare myself with my housemate yesterday. At 1st, i thought she is very lucky, so many guys are after her eventhough i think she is biasa2 jer. She has a lot of friends, mix with a lot of people. And a lot of people are willing to help her if she needs. My housemate receive big beautiful bouquet yesterday, from her secret admirer probably because she didn’t even know the anonymous sender. Huhu.. jealous? No, i am not jealous even my degree convocation was the last time i received flowers and that was from my parents, that’s enough. And i do not think if there’s anybody knows actually what my feveret flower is, and of coz i wont reveal here. Only by miracle, if it is going to happen..

Yeargh.. last night, the friends of my housemate came to our house. And of coz, i wont be joining them. Terpengap jer dlm bilik. It is not that i am so sombong, or kera sumbang. But, bergaul dengan lelaki tanpa rasa segan absolutely not me. Ketawa, terjerit2, bergurau itu ini dgn lelaki yg bukan muhrim, dalam rumah plak tu, Astaghfirullah, sori lah. I just said sorry to my housemate when she asked me wheteher i want to join them or not, one of them is going to be transferred to Lumut so this small gathering can be considered a farewell gathering lah cam tu. They were very happy, and i can tell from the kebisingan malam tadi.

After performing my Maghrib, i sat on the bed, still wearing my telekung, berlunjur kaki with a pillow on my lap and my Quran on it. Konon nak mengaji but entah kenapa suddenly my mind start to think about all things and my tears start runing down. What happened? To be continued.. dah satu suku.. aku nak pi surau dulu...

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